Luna del'Corvo

On the one hand, this is the first year I've felt holiday-ish in quite a while (and if you've known me for a while, y'all know I love Christmas, godless heathen notwithstanding). Last year I was just too beaten down by the School year from Hell to where we didn't even get a tree (more on that later, too; I have a lot of backstory to fill in, don't I?), and the year before Dad had just passed. But this year, I was into it!

I've been baking up a storm (as usual, if a week or so behind schedule), and was all set to host the family Christmas morning brunch. It's a lovely event if I do say so - roughly 8-12 people, a big breakfast including eggnog pancakes, and of course, all the bakery in the world: cookies, stollen, fruitcake, and this year a few new entries, like a snowberry crostada.* I had invited everyone on Thanksgiving, and gotten enthusiastic acceptance. So, I called around the 23rd to confirm the time, and got a shock. Apparently, since I had not been calling and flogging this thing every week since Thanksgiving people didn't feel like they'd actually been invited ('didn't feel invited enough,' that's a direct quote). So none of them showed.

Now, just between you, me, and the lamppost, my son and I both ended up being sick as dogs Christmas day, so it was, cosmically speaking, for the best, but they didn't know that, so I'm not letting anyone off the hook!

SO we've been baking at our leisure (still at it, actually), and enjoying a quiet, lazy sort of holiday. Which is nice. But...

I still feel like I'm caught in the week before Christmas, and here I am three days from returning to school (blech; not as bad as last year, but...blech.)

*About the baked goods: don't @ me about fruitcake, this is great-great-grandma Ada Sue Winchester Dunn's famous Southern fruitcake, and it is nothing at all like the doorsteps hawked by the 'cheese and sausage pushers.' It's spicy, moist, and boozy as heck. It's delightful, I swear. And if the snowberry crostada sounds vaguely familiar, you might have played Skyrim. It--and a number of other new regulars on the house menu--come from the Elder Scrolls Cookbook. I cannot recommend it enough; even if you're not a fan of the game, there are some real gems in there.

So finished all my teaching classes, except for finals (and grading of course - ugh!) Also finished up my grad media class! W00t! That was a fun class - did my semester research paper on Dragon Age, which was a lot of fun! (Any game geeks that want to wade through 30-odd pages of academic/geek speak, I'm happy to share...)

I still have a Latin final, but that's no big deal (I have a LOT of studying to do tho! Eeek!)

Speaking of Latin, I also have discovered a wonderful possibility for the niblet for hight school! It's a classical academy, and they base their teaching around Latin, Greek, the Socratic method, and a solid foundation in classic and classical literature. It's a challenging atmosphere, but it's really small, and I think he'd respond well. He's been so disenchanted with school, it's kind of heartbreaking, so I'm really hopeful about this!

In other, sadder news, we lost the grand matriarch of the family last weekend. She was my son's great, great grandmother, and a Winchester, no less! (Yes, those Winchesters...) Not many people get to say they spent time with 5 generations of family in one room! At 104 years old, she was still sharp as a tack, full of piss and vinegar, but equally full of laughter and wit, and a character like only she could be. What an amazing woman. I guess I had sort of started to think she'd be around forever... Here's to you, Sudie; we'll miss you, but with fondness.

(Yes, this is a repost of last year's entry for this day. But I find it highly doubtful that this answer will ever change....)

This is easy. When I was seven, I think, my grandparents and my mom made me a castle. Not a silly little toy castle. This was the most amazing thing you could imagine, to say nothing of the astonished wonder of a child.

It stood four feet high, fashioned from a wooden bookshelf. Three floors, carpeted staircases, chandeliers, a garden, a balcony, stained glass windows, a tower. A ballroom with tiled floors and thrones for the kind and queen. The royal bedroom, in red and purple velvet and brocade. The princesses' room, green and gold and just a hint of pink. In the round, crenelated tower, a witch, a spinning wheel, and a little half-round bench hand-carved by my grandfather. There were two princes, two princesses, the king, queen, the king's brother. There was a witch, a giant, and a fairy. Each one had clothing made by hand. There was a horse and carriage and a garden with trees, a cobbled path and a fountain with water lilies. Every inch of the outside was lovingly carved into stones, even the fronts of the drawers that made up the bottom of the shelf.

When I came down Christmas morning, there it sat, nearly as tall as I was, gleaming, the lights shimmering from the golds and silvers, from the metallic brocades and the crystal chandeliers. When I went back to school in January, we were to write a story about our favorite present, and draw a picture. I got in trouble for making things up, and when the teacher called my mom to report me, my mom had to set her straight.

I have only two very poor photos of it, and, I am sorry to say, I no longer have it. When I had to move to California, I donated it to a children's museum. I came back a year later, and they had sold it. I have no idea where it is, or who now has this rare treasure crafted by the hands of my family. But there has never been a handmade gift like that one....

In other news, we have a second cat! Why? Well, for one thing, the vet recommended it when we were concerned about Widget, our adolescent rebel, being a bit too wild. And of course, I'm a sucker for a fuzzy face. I saw this really sweet cat at the adoption center at the local pet supply way back before Christmas. I was really taken with her then, but.... I hemmed and hawed. I wasn't ready.

We go to different locations of the same local chain, so I didn't get back there until last week. And sure enough, the poor thing was still there! (Apparently they have a really hard time adopting our black cats - I guess people are still scared of them or something. Oi!) I almost took her on the spot, but I decided I needed to sleep on it, to say nothing of consulting the husband. He gave the OK, so back I went, and one week ago today, Midnight joined our family!

She's a medium-haired mixed breed, all black, about a year old. Poor dear hadn't had any vet care until she was surrendered by her former owner (along with two others) because they couldn't afford to keep them. I'm really grateful they at least gave them up, and didn't dump them! Midnight was the last of the three to need a home, and I'm really happy she's our! She's a sweet, cuddly thing, purrs at the drop of a hat. She's still pretty hostile (if totally unafraid) of Widget, even though he's a good bit bigger than she is (she's tiny!). But Widget seems to just want to play, so I think they'll work it out fine. Here she is:

Midnight Second day, and she seems quite at home already. No too fond of Widget, our other cat though....

Portrait of a Princess She's a pretty lady, and she knows it! She's also tiny! She's at her full adult size, and she doesn't even top 9 pounds!

Widget And the boy of the house is getting to be a big, handsome boy! He's so cute with Midnight; he follows her around everywhere, and jumps a foot if she so much as looks back over her shoulder at him. I think he's OK with her, and just wants to play....

(So I'm behind on a daily meme? In other news, night dark, and water wet.)

Day 19: A favorite Holiday memory. I don't know if I could pick out one single memory. The holidays were (and are!) such a magical time for me, so my memories all blur into a colorful sparkling collage. There are fragments, of course, like the time I wanted to practice wrapping gifts, and wrapped every empty box I could find, using up every scrap of wrapping paper in the house. I had such fun! My folks were less than amused by having to dash out at the last minute to buy more paper, and I became the family gift-wrapper thereafter (though I'm not entirely certain it was meant as an honor!) Or the year my grandfather gave my grandmother an entire set of cookware, and made her hunt all over the house for each individually wrapped piece! She was so mad, but she was laughing the whole time, too. I suppose any of the memories where my family is there, laughing, being silly, and enjoying the fun and magic of the holiday is a favorite memory.

Day 20: Hanukkah wishes I don't celebrate Hanukkah, and I know only one person who does. She was a teacher of mine, intelligent, funny, a bit odd, but a really good person. So in her name, and her honor, I wish one and all the light and joy of Hanukkah.

Day 21: Yule and Solstice Greetings I suppose I celebrate Yule as much as I do Christmas. The heart of the holiday, no matter the myth, is the notion of finding light in the heart of the longest nights. And really, isn't that a deeply inherent human desire, to find hope and renewal in the midst of the darkness?

Wow. The whole crazy, mish-mash holiday is a big ball of tradition and remembrance for me, so this might be tough to put in a list. But here are three of the nearest and dearest:

1. First, there is Santa Mouse. Inspired by my childhood love of the Santa Mouse books, my mom made a tiny little mouse (an erstwhile cat toy, I think) with a Santa hat to sit in the tree. Every year, Santa Mouse would bring one or two teeny gifts, which would appear in the tree beside him on Christmas morning. We have continued that tradition with my son, and a couple years back, I decided it was time for the original to enter retirement, and I made a new Santa Mouse (the one pictured at the above link). Every year, sure enough, a couple teeny presents appear in the branches of the tree next to him.

2. Cookies! Loads and loads of cookies: shortbread, sables, krinkles, bourbon balls, gingerbread - you name it! My son is my very able baker's apprentice, and we have a blast baking our little holiday hearts out.

3. Ornaments. Now, that may not *seem* like a tradition, but for me, it really is. My collection of ornaments, largely German blown-glass, includes ornaments from every generation of my family going back onto the late 1800s, with a very small few actually brought over from Germany by one Eleanora Augusta Alriche when she emmigrated. Each generation had added to the collection over the years. Sadly, a few years before I was born, a basement flood claimed a bit over half of the oldest ones, but I have almost all of those that survived. There is a mix of Victorian, deco, and a healthy dose of 50s and 60s 'Shiny Brite' kitsch. There are many I remember from my own childhood, and I can tell you not only which ones were my favorites but those of my grandmother, grandfather, even my great-aunts. So every time I trim the tree, it's a tribute to 6 generations of holidays.

There are many, many more; it really it the case that the whole holiday is wrapped in tradition (and isn't that how it should be?). We read A Child's Christmas in wales every year, and I take my son the the Nutcracker. We always made sure Santa answered his letters, relating tales of the happy chaos at the North Pole, much inspired by Tolkein's Father Christmas Letters, now becoming a tradition itself. And of course, music. I love almost all the older Christmas carols. Silent Night in German brings me to tears every time! I try to get my son to learn the words to some of the old carols, especially the German ones, and he tries, sort of. (Worst setback in this regard ever was a friend giving me 'Catmas Carols:' he knows the words to 'Collar Bells' better than 'Jingle Bells!') And of course, the food! Peppermint, cocoa, stollen (pronounced "shtullen," not 'stolen') and great-great-grandmother's fruitcake, eggnog, ribbon candy... well, I'd better save a few things for later posts; I have 14 days to go!

After many years of living critterless (well, OK there's fish and crabs and lizards, but they don't cuddle!) I am pleased to announce a new member of the family:

Meet Widget! Widget is a male domestic shorthair, born on March 12, 2011. He became our new baby on Tuesday, May 31st. He has a very sweet temperament, and is learning to relax and take charge of his new home very quickly (as cats will do!).

Niblet and Widget are getting along famously. He's learning to be patient about letting the kitten come to him. Given how long he's been wanting a cat, I'm impressed!

Widget; the obligatory 'investigating the camera' shot."

But damn, I got a lot done this weekend!

Friday after my class, I staked out an 8' x 4' area for a raised garden bed. I cleared it, put down several layers of cardboard (with a heavy soaking between each) and then covered it with about 2 inches of leaf mulch. Then I rebuilt our small hoop-house (e.g. greenhouse). Saturday, I helped build a compost system for a local school. There were a bunch of volunteers, but it was still about a five hour job. Then today, niblet and I went and bought lumber and supplies, came back, and build the bed. (It turned out awesomely well, if I do say so myself!) Then out we went again for the soil to fill it. Hubby wanted to bring it from a few of his composting sites, but the logistics didn't work out. So, back out we went.

Three bundles of peat moss, 4 bags of soil, three bags of compost, and three bags of mulch later, it was still a few inches from the top, but I decided it would be fine. I'll add a couple buckets of worms when I can go grab some. Then we planted some 30 veggies and a few herbs. (Cabbages take up an ungodly amount of space in a garden bed, in case you didn't know!) I have another bed (smaller) to build for green peppers, and we still want to put tomatoes and peas along the fence, and possibly some berries.

I'll post pics when I get some snapped. Meanwhile, I ache all over, so I'm gonna go collapse in a heap. I'm not at all sure I'll be able to walk tomorrow....

Well, I went and cleared out Mom's things Thursday. I'm not sure which was hardest: being there surrounded by her things and her presence, all the people who stopped in with hugs and condolences (my Mom was clearly very well-loved there), or the odd person who stopped in who didn't know, and asked where she was.

Thing is, she was SO looking forward to moving into the new facility, and it is gorgeous. When I took her to the open house, I literally cried, I was so happy she'd get to live in such a beautiful environment. The bitter irony? Her wing was moving over there the very day I was there boxing up her things. Those that didn't know she was gone assumed I was helping her to move over, and kept asking if she was happy and excited. Ouch.

Her memorial is Monday, and my family will be there, and I know many of the residents and staff will be too. I asked for it not to be heavily religious, but more about sharing memories. It's going to be really hard, but it's part of healing. I'm giving my son the day off school, too. I think it will help him in the long run to see how she was loved, and hear how important he was to her.

So, slowly, life goes on. I still fall apart sometimes, usually when I least expect it, of course, but it's getting better. Time, time, time. It's just going to take time. Well, maybe the occasional stiff drink, but mostly time....

So, I know I haven't been here much, but I feel as though I'm starting to get back to it. I have been doing some housecleaning around here, too. I cut a bunch of old communities, and I also trimmed the f-list of a handful of journals that haven't been updated in about a year and a half. I think most of them now have journals under different names, and a few have just gone on to other things... (If you were cut and you want to be added back, just let me know!)

There is a post about my mom coming soon, and there will be many more to follow it, I am sure. (I'll probably lj-cut them, since they likely won't be happy ones...) Suffice to say, it's just insanely awful and heartbreaking, but I'm dealing. The hardest part (well, sometimes, there's a lot of hardest parts, really. They sort of take turns.) is knowing it should not have happened this way. There has been so much negligence with her care; it's really infuriating. I'm documenting everything now...

My class is going well so far, and I'm really enjoying it. I may lose one of the ones for fall, but if so, I can always offer it up next time, so it's cool. I may put some feelers out for other schools, too. I'm just really happy to be teaching, at last.

Otherwise, things have been surprisingly....well, calm seems the wrong word given the circumstances, but I'll be darned if I can think of a better one....

Getting back into this thing called life, and so far, it's kind of nice! I've been doing a lot around the house - decorating, cleaning, getting hastily moved piles of stuff sorted at last...

I got the niftiest little space heater for the family room; it looks like a wood-burning stove, and it has those odd lights that look like a fire. It's cheesy, but I love it! And this is now one of the warmest rooms in the house! Yay!

I spent several hours in the basement getting the workbench and all the tools arranged and sorted today. Hubby now has a full set of tools he can take to various projects without leaving me tool-less and irritated. Plus, I now have a nice clean Ms. Fix-it space. W00t!

Father-in-law is recovering from surgery, and doing really well, and Mom is still waiting to hear the results of the biopsy - which reminds me, time to chase that down! But she feels fine, and she's really excited about the new facility she'll be moving into in January.

It's funny - I feel like I've been sort of keeping quiet about everything until I was done with school, even unrelated things. I do have a bit of venting to get off my chest, but that can keep until my revisions are approved. Still, it's weird to think I won't be taking classes in Spring. And oddly anti-climactic! LOL Then again, I am sure that will fade when I am burning the midnight oil getting all my syllabus info together and such!

Ugh. I need coffee, and a shower, then off to pick up the boy, and go visiting relatives!