Luna del'Corvo

Had some friends over last night, both of whom have long history in academia. As a group of academics nearly always do, we started sharing horror stories of the dreck and doggerel we've seen from students. In that vein, as the beginning of the semester approaches, I thought I'd share something I found rather amusing. If only one could enforce learning these things for all college (to say nothing of hight school) students, since it is often so badly needed!

Author Richard Palmer offers list of Rules of Grammar for Report Writing:

• Remember to never split an infinitive.
• The passive voice should never be used.
• Punctuate run-on sentences properly they are hard to read otherwise.
• Don't use no double negatives.
• Use the semi-colon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn't.
• Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and omit it when its not needed.
• Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
• No sentence fragments.
• Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
• Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
• If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a lot of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
• A writer must not shift your point of view.
• Give slang the elbow.
• Conversely, it is incumbent upon us to avoid archaisms.
• Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!!
• Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 onwards or more, to their antecedents.
• Hyphenate between sy-llables; avoid un-necessary hyphens.
• Write all adverbial forms correct.
• Writing carefully: dangling participles must be avoided.
• Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck in the language.
• Take the bull by the hand: always pick on the correct idiom and avoid mixed metaphors.
• Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
• Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
• Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
• If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.
• Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
• Don't string together too many prepositional phrases unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
• ""Avoid overuse of quotation marks.""""
• For Christ's sake don't offend your readers' sensibilities.
• Last but not least, avoid clichés like the plague; seek viable alternatives.

(Real update soon, I promise, as there has been a lot going on!)