My note to the Jerk
April 24th, 2017 09:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lunadelcorvoAgain, more drama, I just wanted to keep a copy of this...for some reason. Less angsty posts soon, I promise. (I'm really not usually a drama-lama; my ex is just pulling out all the stops recently. :/ )
Since it seems you have no idea why I’m angry and upset, I suppose I should explain it. By the way, I did not ask Niblet to talk to you about it; that was all him.
Here’s the thing: when you said you were moving in right across the damned street, I objected FOR THIS VERY REASON! I KNEW you would have women in and out eventually, and I KNEW I’d end up seeing it whether I wanted to or not, and I KNEW it would feel just this shitty. And lo! As I had foreseen, so it has come to pass! I told you that, I told you (and so did pretty much everyone else, as I recall) that it was too close. But you did it anyway. You had your plan and had to have your way.
Since you did this despite my concerns, I figure it is on YOU to keep it to yourself. *I* shouldn’t have to be afraid to look out my windows because you were too damned stubborn to consider the ramifications of living directly outside of them. It’s not like I am under any illusions you’re not fucking whatever you can catch every chance you get - you’re in hog-fucking heaven, I have no doubt. But let me make this crystal clear: I. do . not. want. to. see. it. ever.
If you expect to come and go in my home and in my life, and to be all hugs and handsy (to say nothing of flirty; WTF is the deal with that, anyway?) then keep your shit where I never have to see it. There is a parking lot on the other side of the goddamn building; fucking USE IT! If it’s full, walk half a goddamn block because YOU made this situation, I did not.
You cannot expect me to keep up this bizarre (and probably deeply dysfunctional) relationship/friendship with you if I keep seeing your booty calls. There are limits even to my mental compartmentalization skills, and that? Goes way beyond them. If you want it ignored, swept under the rug, fine, I can do that. Unless it’s in my goddamn face. And again, you made this situation, you deal with it.
THAT is why I am angry and upset beyond belief; that you made this problem and didn’t bother to listen when you were told it would BE a problem, and now can’t manage to prevent it from being a problem. And as summer approaches, I will be home a lot more, outside a lot more, and this problem can get a lot worse unless you choose to handle more carefully.
And by the way, fuck you for bringing up a custody agreement when I asked you to stay the fuck out of my face for a little while. Seriously? That’s the lack of empathy - you didn’t ask, you didn’t clarify, you didn’t think ‘No shit she doesn’t want to see my face right now.’ You went on the offensive. Thanks. Good to know what you think of me. And I can totally see where ‘don’t come over’ equates to ‘you can’t see kiddo’ SINCE YOU’RE RIGHT ACROSS THE FREAKING STREET!
By the way, I don’t want a reply. Writing this out has gotten me upset all over again when I had (more or less) calmed down. So I am going to try and rebuild my peace. Again. So no, I don’t want an answer, I don’t want to discuss it; just LISTEN for once. Thank you.
Since it seems you have no idea why I’m angry and upset, I suppose I should explain it. By the way, I did not ask Niblet to talk to you about it; that was all him.
Here’s the thing: when you said you were moving in right across the damned street, I objected FOR THIS VERY REASON! I KNEW you would have women in and out eventually, and I KNEW I’d end up seeing it whether I wanted to or not, and I KNEW it would feel just this shitty. And lo! As I had foreseen, so it has come to pass! I told you that, I told you (and so did pretty much everyone else, as I recall) that it was too close. But you did it anyway. You had your plan and had to have your way.
Since you did this despite my concerns, I figure it is on YOU to keep it to yourself. *I* shouldn’t have to be afraid to look out my windows because you were too damned stubborn to consider the ramifications of living directly outside of them. It’s not like I am under any illusions you’re not fucking whatever you can catch every chance you get - you’re in hog-fucking heaven, I have no doubt. But let me make this crystal clear: I. do . not. want. to. see. it. ever.
If you expect to come and go in my home and in my life, and to be all hugs and handsy (to say nothing of flirty; WTF is the deal with that, anyway?) then keep your shit where I never have to see it. There is a parking lot on the other side of the goddamn building; fucking USE IT! If it’s full, walk half a goddamn block because YOU made this situation, I did not.
You cannot expect me to keep up this bizarre (and probably deeply dysfunctional) relationship/friendship with you if I keep seeing your booty calls. There are limits even to my mental compartmentalization skills, and that? Goes way beyond them. If you want it ignored, swept under the rug, fine, I can do that. Unless it’s in my goddamn face. And again, you made this situation, you deal with it.
THAT is why I am angry and upset beyond belief; that you made this problem and didn’t bother to listen when you were told it would BE a problem, and now can’t manage to prevent it from being a problem. And as summer approaches, I will be home a lot more, outside a lot more, and this problem can get a lot worse unless you choose to handle more carefully.
And by the way, fuck you for bringing up a custody agreement when I asked you to stay the fuck out of my face for a little while. Seriously? That’s the lack of empathy - you didn’t ask, you didn’t clarify, you didn’t think ‘No shit she doesn’t want to see my face right now.’ You went on the offensive. Thanks. Good to know what you think of me. And I can totally see where ‘don’t come over’ equates to ‘you can’t see kiddo’ SINCE YOU’RE RIGHT ACROSS THE FREAKING STREET!
By the way, I don’t want a reply. Writing this out has gotten me upset all over again when I had (more or less) calmed down. So I am going to try and rebuild my peace. Again. So no, I don’t want an answer, I don’t want to discuss it; just LISTEN for once. Thank you.
no subject
Date: April 25th, 2017 09:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: April 26th, 2017 08:13 pm (UTC)Meh; if he keeps acting like this I will end up ceasing to care at all, which will, I think, be to my benefit and his detriment.....
no subject
Date: April 28th, 2017 09:41 am (UTC)