lunadelcorvo: (Deadlines whooshing by)
[personal profile] lunadelcorvo
What a year it's shaping up to be! Over the summer, hubby's grandmother has had her health decline rapidly. Actually, this has been along process for years; she had MD, and had been losing strength and mobility steadily for years. THis year it's really been accelerating. Worse yet, her husband, himself in his upper 80s has been unable to let go and put her n a proper nursing facility. One the one hand, I understand this, especially knowing him. He's the epitome of "pride goeth before a fall," except he thinks that means when your pride goes away, that's when you fall. It's meant a lot to him that he's cared for her for so long, and he doesn't want to give up and admit he can't any more. But really, he should have, for both their sakes. Now, however, she's been diagnosed with advanced bone cancer. She's in hospice, she's lost any real kind of coherence, and it's unlikely she'll ever regain it. Heartbreakingly, in her pain and delerium, she rails against Papaw for trying to get rid of her. I can see the damage that does to him every time she says it. He's said outright he doesn't want to go on without her; I suspect he won't.

Naturally, all of this is, as I said, inevitable. With a condition like hers, we all knew it would end like this. Which doesn't make it one whit less awful to see. And of course, it's bringing back the pain of my mother's death all over. So yay. I feel for hubby, too, as he recently had a good friend who had suffered a long-term illness call hi out of the blue to say goodbye. He said he'd taken a turn, and wouldn't be seeing him again. We found out a few days later he and his wife checked into the swankiest hotel in town, had champagne and then committed suicide together. I made the news. Now his grandmother is past the point of no return, and his grandfather is swearing he won't outlive her.

His father (my father in law) has also been left nearly blind by a failed eye surgery in one eye and a blown vessel in the other in about a four week period. So, universe, if you're listening, we're good now, no more surprises, yeah?

Otherwise, I suppose things are fine. I feel totally overwhelmed with work this semester, but I suppose that's not altogether new either, I really want to finish up the last of the kitchen because, as wonderful as it is, it's been the f-ing elephant on my shoulder for the better part of three months and I'm so ready to set it down. However, it's going to be 8 weeks before the tile comes in for the backsplash, (which yours truly is installing) so it's more or less never going to be finished. (First world problem, especially in light of all the rest, but it's the little ones that bug ya, ya know?)

And I so did not intend to make this a pity party sort of diatribe. Ah well, bucket dumped; look for a slightly more upbeat post next time!

Date: September 22nd, 2013 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hope-guides-me.livejournal.com
I wanted to give you some love and affection.

Sending prayers and good vibes in your direction, sweetie.

Date: September 23rd, 2013 11:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raven-moon.livejournal.com
Thank you, sweetheart, so much!

Date: September 23rd, 2013 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucretiasheart.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry that tragedy is such of frequent visitor of late to your life! Loss of health and death is inevitable for all of us, but that doesn't make it any easier to bear witness to...

The couple that had a night at a motel and then committed suicide together--? That is very sad indeed.

I'll second your appeal to the Universe to lighten up for a bit. My gods!

Date: September 26th, 2013 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucretiasheart.livejournal.com
Happy Birthday my dear.

Date: September 26th, 2013 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raven-moon.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

Despite all the stuff going on, it's been a lovely day, thanks in large part to my awesome guys: hubby and son...

Date: September 26th, 2013 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raven-moon.livejournal.com
PS your last two comments (one here, one on the education post), seem to have vanished before I could reply to them....???

In any case, thank you for your kind thoughts - things are, in fact, somewhat better than they seemed in my pseudo-rant, but it has been a bit of a lot at once!

And I absolutely agree with your skepticism about 'mandatory service' type ideas - sounds great, until you try to put in into practice, and the, I suspect, it can get ugly, fast!

Date: September 27th, 2013 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucretiasheart.livejournal.com
I didn't delete anything, so its odd my comments are disappearing on you. Huh...

Glad to hear your birthday is going well, and that things are looking up!

Miscellanea

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Things I need to remember:
• Asking for help is not, as it turns out, fatal.
• Laughing is easier than pulling your hair out, and doesn't have the unfortunate side effect of making you look like a plague victim.
• Even the biggest tasks can be defeated if taken a bit at a time.
• I can write a paper the night before it's due, but the results are not all they could be.
• Be thorough, but focused.
• Trust yourself.
• Honesty, always.

Historians are the Cassandras of the Humanities

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