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[personal profile] lunadelcorvo
It had to happen eventually. And it did. Here I sat, while my son was fencing. Here I was, minding my own business, reading. And in he walked. Yes, him. Dr. B. I had maybe 2 seconds from spotting him coming up the walk to take a breath and then there he was. I said hello, he said hello, I told him why I was here (why did I feel the need to justify myself to him?) Then he continued off round the corner; visiting the restroom, I suspect. So here I sat, and waited. Certainly propriety dictated he at least stop on his way past me, exchange a few words? No. When he left, he walked right by me as if I wasn't even here. Didn't look my way, didn't acknowledge me. And then he was gone.

Well, I guess that tells the tale doesn't it? Is it enough for the closure I've felt I needed? I'm not sure. He mattered to me, I trusted him. He betrayed me, he hurt me. Why it is harder to forget the ones who hurt us than the ones we hurt? Is it, really? I don't know. It certainly seems I'm a closed chapter for him. And I certainly think he should be for me. I just can't ever seem to let things go so easily. It's a flaw.

Date: May 21st, 2013 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toll-booth.livejournal.com
I don't know the back story, but whatever he did to you, I'm so sorry.

Date: May 21st, 2013 01:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raven-moon.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for that! Really, it was a big, stupid, political, rumor-mill, backstabbing, infighting, bunch of crap. But after a year of friendship, and going out of his way to tell me our friendship was important to him, etc...instead of playing straight with me, he pretty much hung me out to dry without ever telling me why. Of course, not having any idea about any of it, I went on like everything was peachy, no doubt making everything worse for myself, and probably him, too. Gah - why can't people just SAY things, ya know?

Anyway, it was all jut stupid and awful, and I never really got the chance to air it all out. But we still run in the same circles, so we were bound to cross paths, and now we have....

Date: May 21st, 2013 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toll-booth.livejournal.com
It won't be the same, but you can let it all out on LJ if you need to. I won't judge, I promise. :)

Date: May 22nd, 2013 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucretiasheart.livejournal.com
Your flaw is one I share. I hope peace comes to you soon regarding this person. It seems (and likely is) such a waste to care so much about others who have disregarded us.

Miscellanea

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Things I need to remember:
• Asking for help is not, as it turns out, fatal.
• Laughing is easier than pulling your hair out, and doesn't have the unfortunate side effect of making you look like a plague victim.
• Even the biggest tasks can be defeated if taken a bit at a time.
• I can write a paper the night before it's due, but the results are not all they could be.
• Be thorough, but focused.
• Trust yourself.
• Honesty, always.

Historians are the Cassandras of the Humanities

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