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lunadelcorvoMy mom is gone. She passed this morning in her sleep. The doctor started her on stronger pain meds and steroids, hoping to help her feel better for a while. She didn't respond well, and when I went to see her yesterday, she was very drowsy and had not eaten. I spoke with the doctor yesterday evening, and we were to meet with Mom today, and try some different things to keep her comfortable. The doc said we were likely looking at a couple weeks, not the couple months we had hoped.
My mom was happy to see me yesterday, and she thanked me for being with her. I made her laugh a little, and I had brought her a t-shirt from the university where I'm teaching. I thought it would make her proud to tell folks that's where her daughter was teaching. She kept dozing, fading in and out, and when I left, I told her to sleep, to just rest and not worry. I suppose she did just that.
The nurses never saw any signs, they said when they went to check on her, they thought she was sleeping peacefully and were happy to see it, but she was already gone. I'm glad for her, really, though I wish she'd been able to get into her new room, see the spring, tell my son goodbye, things like that. Funny thing; I couldn't sleep last night, and I sat up thinking of all the things I wanted to be sure to tell her today, in case. I don't really believe in this sort of thing, but I kind of hope she heard me.
Judith Anne b. March 22, 1942 d. January 25, 2011
You were always stronger than you looked.
My mom was happy to see me yesterday, and she thanked me for being with her. I made her laugh a little, and I had brought her a t-shirt from the university where I'm teaching. I thought it would make her proud to tell folks that's where her daughter was teaching. She kept dozing, fading in and out, and when I left, I told her to sleep, to just rest and not worry. I suppose she did just that.
The nurses never saw any signs, they said when they went to check on her, they thought she was sleeping peacefully and were happy to see it, but she was already gone. I'm glad for her, really, though I wish she'd been able to get into her new room, see the spring, tell my son goodbye, things like that. Funny thing; I couldn't sleep last night, and I sat up thinking of all the things I wanted to be sure to tell her today, in case. I don't really believe in this sort of thing, but I kind of hope she heard me.
Judith Anne b. March 22, 1942 d. January 25, 2011
You were always stronger than you looked.
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Date: January 25th, 2011 03:40 pm (UTC)Love to you all.
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Date: January 25th, 2011 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: January 25th, 2011 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: January 25th, 2011 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: January 25th, 2011 04:48 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: January 25th, 2011 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: January 25th, 2011 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: January 25th, 2011 07:17 pm (UTC)*just holds you as long as you need*
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Date: January 26th, 2011 01:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: January 26th, 2011 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: January 26th, 2011 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: January 26th, 2011 03:55 am (UTC)That picture-- wow, what a beautiful lady!
I'm sorry you didn't have the chance to feel like you could "finish" things with her. If its possible for her to hear you after physical death, then I truly hope she did.
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Date: January 26th, 2011 10:07 am (UTC)I wish condolences unto you, and peace to where you are going. I know you and your mother have traveled a long and sore road together, but I would be lying if I said you've haven't done enough. Your words are filled with struggle, hope, pain, and fear. But more than not, love.
I would be remiss in my nature to not say you've been the best you possibly could have been for her.
All the love I could share,
~Duran
PS: Keep up your shining example!
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Date: January 26th, 2011 10:23 am (UTC)Your mother is now never gone, but has reached a level we could only wish to dream of!
Your love for her is the proof of this, as long as we love, we shall never die! This love transcends all border and boundaries!
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Date: January 26th, 2011 09:24 pm (UTC)She was truly beautiful.
♥
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Date: January 27th, 2011 02:28 am (UTC)A blessing and a kindness she seemed to go gently.
No there never quite seems to be enough time to get it said or done.
My condolences and prayers.
Lela wakan. Mitaquye oyasin.