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lunadelcorvo(credit goes to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
greysong, who posted this some time ago.)
For those with No children - this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age - this is hilarious.
For those who have children at this age - this is not funny. (actually, I think it's hysterical, too. ed.)
For those who have children nearing this age - this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children - this is a form of birth control!
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.
5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain bits of Lego will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving and are very expensive to remove.
18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The average response time for the fire dept. is about 20 minutes.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing.
greysong, who posted this some time ago.) For those with No children - this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age - this is hilarious.
For those who have children at this age - this is not funny. (actually, I think it's hysterical, too. ed.)
For those who have children nearing this age - this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children - this is a form of birth control!
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.
5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain bits of Lego will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving and are very expensive to remove.
18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The average response time for the fire dept. is about 20 minutes.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing.
True story: One day the infant school teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.
She read,"..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class,"And what do you think that man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy moly! A talking pig!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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no subject
Date: March 13th, 2009 04:43 pm (UTC)Really?
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Date: March 13th, 2009 08:33 pm (UTC)Perhaps I should put a disclaimer on those items I have not experienced first hand, since this is a repost. (Several I have though, oddly enough)
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Date: March 13th, 2009 08:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: March 14th, 2009 01:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: March 14th, 2009 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: March 14th, 2009 10:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: March 15th, 2009 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: March 15th, 2009 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: March 15th, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC)lol oops I just realized I goofed on the roller blades the second time...but yet how fitting razor blades...nice.
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Date: March 13th, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)Oh that was great!
no subject
Date: March 14th, 2009 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: March 13th, 2009 09:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: March 14th, 2009 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: March 17th, 2009 07:51 pm (UTC)But TOO many of these are... familiar.
In a similar vein....
If you fill up a VCR with Dominoes, it's not hungry anymore, and doesn't want any Videotapes.
For a while I was wondering where all my loose change was going, till the CD-ROM drive in my Mac IIvx stopped working.
A promise by a 6 year old is written on wet toilet paper
A promise TO a 6 year old is Chisled in Granite. And stood up on your lawn. Facing Out.