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lunadelcorvoOnce again it's been too long. And, as always seems to be the case, life is a mixed bag; lot of good, good bit of not-so-good.
Still teaching, but the stress of wondering, every semester, if I will get enough classes to be able to stay afloat is wearying in the extreme. So far, this time, from my main uni, I have only one for fall. My other uni didn't give me a class this spring (first time since I started there), and hasn't begin their fall scheduling yet. I'm also teaching at a middle/high school, which I really love, but they don't schedule until mid- to late-summer. So for now, I'm on pins and needles, wondering just how tight I'll be pulling my belt come fall. And fall is the worse of the two semesters to not have a reasonably full load, coming as it does on the hells of summer, which is always lean in and of itself.
Then there is the massive fear/anxiety/depression/anger/stress over the election and they way the next four years are shaping up. I hope I am being hyperbolic when I say that I suspect within a year this nation will be unrecognizable. On the one hand it feels like hyperbole, but then again, we got this far because we have, as a culture, become far too adept at ignoring what is right before our noses. More on that in another post, lest I get too maudlin here!
The kiddo is flourishing for the most part. he's a bright and talented high school sophomore (how in the hell did THAT happen?), and he's looking at pursuing engineering. My middle and high school students are a bright spot of hope in these times; far more capable, literate, informed, and motivated than 99.9% of my college students. Yes, it's a private school, but still; they shame my college kids. I find this both inspiring and incredibly sad - inspiring for the hope these amazing children give, and sad for the ones who are in their early 20s with no grasp of life or the world around them. How did they ever get out of high school? ANd how will they ever be bale to function as citizens? (that may not be an issue soon anyway, I suppose....)
For me, personally, life is still a struggle at times, and a joy at others. (Like everyone, right?) I am nowhere near 'over' the collapse of my marriage and with it, many portions of my future. I cannot imagine ever entering into a relationship again; the notion makes me almost physically ill. At the same time, I am often so lonely, it takes my breath away. Sill, even when lonely, I love having my house to myself, and my time to myself, and just being *me.* So, it goes in stages.
Still teaching, but the stress of wondering, every semester, if I will get enough classes to be able to stay afloat is wearying in the extreme. So far, this time, from my main uni, I have only one for fall. My other uni didn't give me a class this spring (first time since I started there), and hasn't begin their fall scheduling yet. I'm also teaching at a middle/high school, which I really love, but they don't schedule until mid- to late-summer. So for now, I'm on pins and needles, wondering just how tight I'll be pulling my belt come fall. And fall is the worse of the two semesters to not have a reasonably full load, coming as it does on the hells of summer, which is always lean in and of itself.
Then there is the massive fear/anxiety/depression/anger/stress over the election and they way the next four years are shaping up. I hope I am being hyperbolic when I say that I suspect within a year this nation will be unrecognizable. On the one hand it feels like hyperbole, but then again, we got this far because we have, as a culture, become far too adept at ignoring what is right before our noses. More on that in another post, lest I get too maudlin here!
The kiddo is flourishing for the most part. he's a bright and talented high school sophomore (how in the hell did THAT happen?), and he's looking at pursuing engineering. My middle and high school students are a bright spot of hope in these times; far more capable, literate, informed, and motivated than 99.9% of my college students. Yes, it's a private school, but still; they shame my college kids. I find this both inspiring and incredibly sad - inspiring for the hope these amazing children give, and sad for the ones who are in their early 20s with no grasp of life or the world around them. How did they ever get out of high school? ANd how will they ever be bale to function as citizens? (that may not be an issue soon anyway, I suppose....)
For me, personally, life is still a struggle at times, and a joy at others. (Like everyone, right?) I am nowhere near 'over' the collapse of my marriage and with it, many portions of my future. I cannot imagine ever entering into a relationship again; the notion makes me almost physically ill. At the same time, I am often so lonely, it takes my breath away. Sill, even when lonely, I love having my house to myself, and my time to myself, and just being *me.* So, it goes in stages.
