lunadelcorvo: (Run screaming)
Grrr. Just grr. Why? I don't know, just 'cause.

Still coughing my fool head off and getting short of breath every damned five minutes - yuck. Plus fatigue like whoa. I am exhausted, full time, which sucks big hairy you-know-whats through a straw. For serious. I love fall, but it hates me, apparently.

One of the interminable lot of persnickety grandmothers decided to buy us a new bed mattress set, which is lovely, but we were not consulted on it, and really? If I'm going to sleep on it, I'd like to have some input in selecting it. Not to mention, even though we need a new set, I wanted to wait until we could actually get a bed to put them on, which we do not have. Gift horse dentistry aside, could we have maybe talked about this? Planned it out a little? I mean, thanks, but well, damn.

I just do not even have any freaking idea what to do with my life. PhD or not to PhD? Where? Drive 90 minutes each way 3x a week, or say the heck with it? I can't go forever teaching just one or two classes, much as I love doing so, and am pathetically grateful for the chance to do so. Still; bills, baby! And if I don't do that PhD, gonna be some pretty sizable student loan bills comin' round, yo. So I either need to get back into school, or get some grown up money going on.

So while I ponder my money-making options (in the worst economy more or less ever - yay that), I'm looking for conferences to send paper proposals to, and considering substitute teaching (gulp!). I have my doubts about this, really. I mean, the money is OK (not great by any means, but OK), but really, me in a room full of 6-year-olds? More specifically, in a room full of 6-year-olds none of which are mine? I.... dunno... Plus, really early mornings, so not my strong suit. And how in the heck we'll manage Niblet drop off/pick up, I have no freaking clue....

So yep, could be oodles worse, but kinda feeling like the world is spinning a good bit faster than I can run, and it's only a matter of time before I go flying....

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Things I need to remember:
• Asking for help is not, as it turns out, fatal.
• Laughing is easier than pulling your hair out, and doesn't have the unfortunate side effect of making you look like a plague victim.
• Even the biggest tasks can be defeated if taken a bit at a time.
• I can write a paper the night before it's due, but the results are not all they could be.
• Be thorough, but focused.
• Trust yourself.
• Honesty, always.

Historians are the Cassandras of the Humanities

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